


Hemochromatosis

by VerifiedFangurlXX



Series: a perfect family [4]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Descriptions of Blood, M/M, self harm misunderstandings, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-12 21:20:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16879374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerifiedFangurlXX/pseuds/VerifiedFangurlXX
Summary: "Oh shit. Changkyun!" Kihyun's yelling now - and there's thuds against the door. Someone's banging against it and god, it was annoying...Then the door was forced open, and Shownu comes rushing in. "oh my God,Changkyun!





	1. Chapter 1

Hemochromatosis, they said. Truth be told, Changkyun had never heard of that condition in his life. Until he signed on to be a part of Nu'bility, and the management had sent him for a simple blood test and medical check up. And surprise, surprise, he was diagnosed with it.

 

Apparently he had too much iron in his blood, and needed to remove some blood from his body every few weeks. (Therapeutic Phlebotomy, they had called it). 

 

Changkyun didn't care much about it at first. He had lived the seventeen years of his life just fine. Then, the doctor began telling him about the risks of a possible heart failure, or even arthritis - okay, maybe he ought to be worried. 

 

It was easy then. He had Nu'bility, who made sure that Changkyun never missed his fortnightly visit to the clinic. Even his manager then frequently checked in on him.

 

Then, Nu'bility faced the crisis of disbandment, and Changkyun completely forgot about his much needed fortnightly (or, at least monthly) visits to the clinic.

 

A month and four days from his previous visit, Changkyun woke up exhausted. Which was weird, considering they had stopped practicing weeks ago upon the announcement of their disbandment. In fact, it was the last day they had together at their shared dorm.

 

Ignoring the pain in his stomach area (and the pounding in his head), the rapper forced himself up, not wanting to waste the last previous hours with his members.

 

He'd stood up unsteadily, before heading to the common space in the living room.

 

"G'morning." Changkyun had slurred, squinting ( _why was his vision so blurry?_ ) 

 

"Changkyun." 

 

Jeongwook's voice, Changkyun dully noted. 

 

"Why the hell are you wobbling like a penguin?"

 

"I am...?" 

 

And then his vision had gone completely dark.

 

-

 

According to his other members, Jeongwook had caught him in time and piggy-backed him all the way to the nearest clinic, where Changkyun had a pint of blood removed. The elder vocalist also had the nurse teach Changkyun the basics of removing blood from his body, just in case (though she strongly urged Changkyun to visit a professional doctor every month instead).

 

Then, it was goodbye Nu'bility, hello Starship Entertainment. 

 

Fast forward through the mess that was the survival show, Changkyun had ended up in Monsta X. Sure, things were rocky at first, with his relationships with the other members a little sour, but things had worked out and he'd became slightly more comfortable in the presence of his new members.

 

He never told them his condition, though.

 

No need to let them know how much more of a burden he was, after stealing a spot in the group and then being slow in learning the dance moves.

 

-

 

Debut was near, and the dance practices were getting more and more hectic. Changkyun was glad to _finally_ be able to go through the entire dance without messing up much.

 

They practiced a couple of times, then Shownu called for a break. And Changkyun was really glad, because he was so tired. 

 

Then he realized that he wasn't tired, can't be tired because it was just the first part of their _usual_ routine. But he was fucking _exhausted_. And then it hit him that he had not had been to the clinic to have blood removed in 2 months, and he slightly panicked.

 

And then the break was over and fuck, debut was in three days, Changkyun can't fuck things up just because he had too much iron in his blood. 

 

The rapper forced a grin when Jooheon patted him on the back. Shownu started the music again and they dived right into the second part of their routine, with Changkyun slowly feeling the fatigue in his body.

 

It was getting harder for the youngest male to catch up with the others and the members were starting to notice.

 

The music stopped abruptly, leaving Changkyun to pant loudly as he tried to avoid eye contact with the others. God, he had fucked up again. Of course.

 

"Changkyun, what's wrong?" Minhyuk had asked, his words laced with worry.

 

Too busy gasping for air to reply, Changkyun shook his head - and _oh, bad move,_ because now the room was spinning and the throb in his head (that he ignored all morning) was ten times worse and oh God, his vision was tunneling.

 

For the second time in his life, darkness engulfed him.

 

-

 

He woke up in an intensely bright room, instantly aware that he was at a hospital. 

 

"Hey, you're awake." Kihyun stated, a small smile on his lips as the younger male looked him over.

 

"Yeah." Changkyun mumbled, his voice coming out raspy. Feeling the bandages around his head, he winced. 

 

"About that," the main vocalist hit Changkyun's hands away, "you have a concussion."

 

 _Oh._ No wonder his mind was foggy. And he was seeing double. ( _Triple?_ )

 

"Yeah, we didn't manage to catch you in time - I'm so sorry." Kihyun continued, passing Changkyun a glass of water (which the latter barely held onto) "the doctor says you can be discharged today, but you have to stay in bed for a week at least." 

 

"What about our debut?" Changkyun managed to ask in between sips of water.

 

"Postponed." Kihyun shrugged.

 

"I - fuck, sorry."

 

"Hey, hey, it's not your fault. We'd much rather you be healthy and safe when we debut, really." Kihyun smiled genuinely.

 

Changkyun couldn't help but to grin back. Though his mind raced with more thoughts. 

 

Negative ones.

 

-

 

Later on, Changkyun got sent home by their manager (the others had gone back to practice). He fell asleep after hearing the door slam shut, with the manager off to get food for everyone.

 

He awakens suddenly, head pounding and confused as to why he was still in bed. Then the events of the day came flooding back into memory and he winces, remembering that he still hadn't gotten around to having blood withdrawn from his body. 

 

He could literally _feel_ his blood getting clogged up by iron and it didn't help that his ears were _ringing_. He proceeds to sneak off to the bathroom (which was a difficult task to do, with his head throbbing and him barely being able to walk in a straight line.) He took out his secret tool kit, consisting of a needle and a blood bag, before leaning warily against the wall.

 

He slid down the wall into a heap onto the floor, while absentmindedly pulling the cap off the needle and throwing it somewhere in the small bathroom. He paused, the needle just mere centimeters away from his arm.

 

He was pretty sure there were more steps to this that the nurse had told him about. Sterilize? _Fuck it_ , he couldn't even think straight, let alone recall whatever the nurse had told him about. He just had to get some overloaded blood out of his body, that's all. 

 

That's the most important thing.

 

And so he tried to get the needle into one of his veins but fails, and he tries again, and again, but his doubled vision wasn't helping and soon there were tiny droplets of blood on his arm. He tried again, and when he failed once more, he groaned, dropping the needle onto the floor on his right.

 

He absentmindedly fumbled around in the cabinet right beside him, his hand brushing past razors until he finally found a small switchblade. 

 

 _That shall do._ He glances at his arm, his eyes still having trouble focusing. He barely makes out one of the prominent veins in his arms, and brings the blade near it. 

 

He breathed.

 

Then he slowly pushes the tip into the vein. The pain that arises tells him that he got it right and he sighed, relieved that he finally got some of the blood out of his body - finally.

 

He pushes in further, desperate to get more iron-filled blood out and soon blood was gushing out and down his arm. The blade was soon completely blood-stained and it slipped from the rapper's hands, clattering onto the floor.

 

It feels _great_. He almost felt free, and he closes his eyes, a small grin lingering on his face as he indulged in the feeling of relief.

 

Then he opens his eyes, and realizes that he was sitting in a pool of blood on the white tile, and fuck, that's going to take a while to clean...

 

He wonders briefly if enough blood had been drained from his body. He watches blood flow out from the cut for three more seconds, before deciding that it was enough. He brings his right hand to cover over the cut - except he _can't_. 

 

His right arm felt too heavy to be moved.

 

_Oh._

 

Then he hears loud talking and shuffling of the feet. His members are back, it seems. _Maybe they could get him a blanket or something? It's getting kind of... cold._

 

At the back of his mind, he wonders if something was wrong - if he was supposed to feel this light-headed.

 

"Changkyun?" Shownu knocked on the door softly.

 

Changkyun blinked at the door. 

 

Another voice. "Is it just me or does this place reek of blood?" Minhyuk, the rapper's mind supplies.

 

"Oh shit. Changkyun!" Kihyun's yelling now - and there's thuds against the door. Someone's banging against it and god, it was annoying...

 

Then the door was forced open, and Shownu comes rushing in. "oh my God, _Changkyun!_

 

Shownu places pressure on Changkyun's arm, and the latter hissed in pain. "Jeez, hyung..."

 

"Wonho, call for the ambulance!"

 

It took a while for Changkyun to link the voice back to Kihyun, whom he realizes was staring at him worriedly. Why was Kihyun so concerned? He just needed to get some blood out, it's no big deal.

 

"Needed to get it out," Changkyun slurs, trying to explain. His eyelids felt too heavy all of a sudden, so he lets it drop, and then Shownu's slapping lightly at his face, "Changkyun, stay awake!"

 

The slapping continued, and it was so, so annoying. Changkyun tries to slap it away, but his arms were too heavy too move and his vision was turning dark again. 

 

" _Changkyun._

 

Then his vision goes completely dark.


	2. Misunderstandings

_Kihyun was upset._ Changkyun dully noted as he blinked his eyes to adjust to the bright lighting in the room. 

 

He recognized that he was in the hospital - kind of easy when he seems to be visiting this place frequently these days.

 

He groaned as he tried to sit up, only to be stopped by a pair of arms. He glanced up, to meet Shownu's eyes. "Stay down," the latter said, his expressions unreadable. Then, the leader joined the rest of the members, all seated down at the side of the bed.

 

Changkyun meekly followed his instructions. Truth be told, he was confused - why were all his members looking so upset? Even Minhyuk looked crushed, and he thought that was a look the vocalist was incapable of showing.

 

"Hey guys?" The youngest male weakly greeted.

 

Changkyun didn't know how the rest would reply, but he certainly wasn't expecting a silence. The six other males stared back at him.

 

"Wow... this is getting kind of weird. Why are y'all staring at me like that?" The rapper tried to make the atmosphere lighter - the tension in the air was getting a little overwhelming.

 

"You tell us, Changkyun." Kihyun snapped.

 

Changkyun flinched, the hurt on his face quickly replaced by confusion. _What?_ The look on his face must have been really obvious, for Jooheon sighed. "We were scared, Changkyun! What made you do _that_?"

 

Changkyun blinked.

 

Then, oh. _oh._

 

He recalled how he was sitting in literally a pool of blood earlier on, with a cut on his arm and knife in his hands - he grimaced. He could guess what it looked like to his members. 

 

"Look, it's not what you guys think-" Changkyun hurried to explain, only to be cut off by Wonho. "Then what is it, then? What other reasons can there be, for picking up a switchblade and cutting your arm with it?" The vocalist voice came close to a yell and Changkyun winced.

 

"I can explain!" Watching Hyungwon raise a perfectly arched eyebrow, Changkyun sighed. He wasn't exactly fond of the idea of letting his members know just how much more burdensome he was - but there wasn't another way out. At least it was better than letting them think he was suicidal.

 

"I have Hemochromatosis." The rapper stated. "It's a disorder whereby I have to have blood removed from my body regularly."

 

"Yeah, and I have unicorn disorder." Kihyun scoffed. "Sorry I can't find a more fancy word for it."

 

"Kihyun." Shownu lightly chided, before turning towards the rapper. "Changkyun, when was the last time you had TP?"

 

"Two months," Changkyun replied, a sheepish smile on his lips. 

 

"Wait, what?" 

 

" Therapeutic phlebotomy," Shownu helpfully supplied. "It's the name of the treatment." He glanced to everyone else in the room. "Hemochromatosis is a disorder where the body loads too much iron. The treatment is to, well, basically remove blood from the body."

 

"Well, there _was_ a bloodbag and a needle on the floor." Hyungwon pointed out.

 

That seemed to seal the deal as the group let out a collective sigh of relief.

 

"I knew Changkyun wasn't suicidal!" Minhyuk practically leaped up from his seat. He was _this_ close to pouncing onto the named male on the bed, only to be stopped by Wonho. 

 

Wonho narrowed his eyes. "I get the whole 'need to remove blood' part, but why the hell would you use a switchblade? There was blood _everywhere!_ "

 

"I don't know," Changkyun shrugged, "I guess it was the concussion - I wasn't thinking straight, and somehow it seemed really important that I got blood out. But it was totally fine, I was handling it-"

 

"Handling it." Kihyun cut the rapper off with a snarl. "Handling it? We almost lost you! Do you know how scared we all were?"

 

Changkyun glanced towards Jooheon. The grim expression the latter wore told him that Kihyun's words were indeed true, that Changkyun had really nearly lost his life. The younger rapper almost jumped when the door slammed shut.

 

Shownu grimaced at the sight of Kihyun leaving. "The doctors were really close to calling time of death, Changkyun."

 

Changkyun's eyes darted downwards, ashamed. "I'm so, sorry guys. I didn't mean to alarm everyone. I wasn't thinking straight - it won't happen again, I swear."

 

"It won't." Hyungwon grinned. "We'll all make sure you get your treatment every two weeks."

 

Changkyun couldn't help but to smile back. "Thanks, guys."

 

Watching Shownu leave to go after Kihyun, Changkyun couldn't help the giddy feeling in his chest. He couldn't be anymore grateful to be able to debut alongside his members who obviously cared deeply for him.

 

He drifted off to sleep, a small smile still present on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i MIGHT be writing more about changkyun and kihyun's relationship after this incident but for now, this is it! thank you so so much for reading. this was *heavily* inspired by another work in the marvel fandom - basically the entire plot was based off that i'm a shitty writer dhsflhjk
> 
> (of course, that work is a lot (like, wayyyyyyy) better written, i 10/10 recommend you to read it if you like marvel as well!) here's the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10354383 
> 
> also, if you're interested in Hemochromatosis, here's a link for you to read up more about it: https://www.hemochromatosis.org/#overview
> 
> (i really hope i didn't get any facts wrong)
> 
> that's all. comments will be greatly appreciated! thank you for reading, once again. i love you

**Author's Note:**

> comments will be greatly appreciated! thank you for reading :))


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